posted by pierce on Jan 25

This past weekend my lovely partner, Lana and I rented and watched “Moneyball” with Brad Pitt. It was rivetting and as I reflected on it over the rest of the weekend I became inspired by it. Today I was working out and I had an epiphany and I could hardly wait to put down the barbells, towell off and begin this blog.
Eight years ago I was tired all the time and I went to the V.A. hospital for a physical. I was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease and I opted for chemo-therapy in an attempt to defeat this disease. I fought for 48 weeks, lost 50 pounds, but I did defeat it. Five years ago I was computer illiterate and now I have two websites and I blog prodigiously. I’ve had over 1,000 hits on Arizonabaddogs.com and over 20,000 hits on Arizonacustomhikes.com. Doors close, windows close, the tide ebbs and flows but open doors and windows abound. If you stay positive and open you can see them and sometimes life beckons you down roads less travelled for a reason. Sometimes your choices are the tried and true which means adapting to traditional means for success in certain industries and you know in your heart it’s not who you are, so you try and fail. Brad Pitt played Billy Beane, who revolutionized baseball by creating teams from statistics and paying less for players and not defining hie teams around superstars with high salaries. He bucked the norm in baseball and the good old boys club cursed him and waited for him to crash and fail. He anguished, wavered, but stuck to his guns and succeeded. If a house signifies or represents life and we are used to going up the stairs to the front porch and entering via the front door or looking in the front window and suddenly that entry or view is blocked for us, we must find alternatives. Maybe climb a ladder and look through the upstairs’ windows or go around back and climb the fire-escape stairs but we must persist. My last girlfriend told me I couldn’t blog yet here I am with 21,000 viewers that like to read my entries. John Lennon said “man plans, God laughs.”Sometimes rejection and failure beat the snot out of you and you need some respite from life. That’s O.K. but the next day you need to find a way to re-invigorate yourself. I use endorphines like some people use sugar. I work out every day via a recumbent stationary bike[cardio] and free weights every other day and when I’m finished my body pulsates with endorphines. The government does not tax me for them, no one can steal them from me, and they lift me up and fill me with hope. Yes when I started it was hard work but any and all success is based on hard work. So stop with the excuses, everybodies got them. Let them go. Pursue your own perfection and believe in yourself. Get endorphinized! Working out is no longer hard work for me but a wonderful habit I look forward to daily. I’ve been coerced by life’s circumstances to write so I have and I do it more frequently as time marches on. Find the formula that works for you and pursue it with abandon and tenacity. I might not be Herman Melville, Clive Cussler, or Daniel Webster but I know who they are. I’m more like Popeye “I am what I am”. Everyday I become more who I am, Pierce H. Russell, a man who thinks outside the box, a man who navigates his way around the world by manning the rudder of his own vessel and keeps his eyes on the horizon. Try it, you might like it. Become who you are supposed to be or die and rest in peace knowing you followed your dreams. Open hearts plus open minds open doors but the rub is, how to keep your heart and mind open? My formula depends on exercize and endorphines!! What’s yours?

posted by pierce on Jan 20

My partner, Lana, the love of my life pulled into the driveway the other morning with her grandchild, Sparkles strapped into the car seat in the back. Her head was listing to the side in sweet slumber while looking ever the diva behind Palm Springs sunglasses that covered half her irish pixie face. As I secured my seatbelt and Lana checked to make sure we had all the necessary gear for an outing to the Phoenix zoo petting zone. I assumed this is where the little ones interacted with live defanged, declawed, and most importantly deballed, damn near dead or almost comatose animals. As we strapped her into her deluxe stroller in the parking lot I could not help but ponder the fact that this child who was not even two years of age had a stroller that cost more than my first car. anyway she awakened with a vengeance like I do some mornings with her bottom lip jutting out ready to rumble but before she could lament her woe Lana sprang into action with positive energy and a massive jolt of love to reel her back from the edge and off we strolled. Before we got to the ticket office we’d seen a quail and ducks playing follow the leader in the lagoon under the bridge we crossed to enter this children’s wonderland. After purchasing our senior tickets we followed the signs to the petting zoo and wound around concrete and macadam trails surrounded by moms and their children. The air was filled with shrieks of joy and exultation and the moms looked worn down and resigned to this trudging activity. The moms seemed to lighten up as they approached the children’s playground in the heart of the petting zoo where they could sit and chat with their friends while they relaxed yet kept a capable eye on their progeny running, scampering, climbing and sliding in this sandy island of childproof safety. We parked the stroller in the barn and cut through a stall to the yard so we could mingle with the ten aged plump goats having siesta time. Sparkles honed in on one laying in an abandoned plastic wading pool on the periphery of the maddening bucolic crowd. The children whirled about like small witches at a coven board meeting yet the goats lolled in the sun like qualluded Hollywood starlets by the pool in Palm Desert. We then strolled on to view the big black horse and I mean big black horse. It had to be a Clydesdale or a cousin of one because it made Shaquille O’Neal look anorexic. Next, of course came Smokey, the white horse followed by Pedro, the burro. You were forewarned not to touch them because they could bite but the enclosures they were in were impregnable at least to small innocents so all went well. Sparkle clucked at the chickens and the bantam roosters strutting about clucked back their disappointment at the tourist’s wardrobe. We met a friend of her daughter’s and I responded cordially with decorum while somewhere deep inside of me the little boy jumped up and down with unrestrained abandon. We strolled some more and discovered ape, elephant, and lion sculptures we could touch and carress. Lana having raised three lovely girls noticed the signs of hunger and fatigue creeping up so we saddled up and headed for the exit so we could go out for lunch and fill Sparkle’s belly before she crashed for her afternoon nap. Which quite frankly was starting to sound amenable to me as well so after lunch we all napped and had our batteries recharged. Just prior to that as we drove from lunch and Sparkles started to get cranky on her way home to nap I picked up a slightly soiled diaper off the car floor and introduced her to Mr. Poopy. He made her smile and laugh at my prepubescent kindergarten humor and we made it back to the homestead without any flareups. I’d definitely recommend this simple urban trek to any grandparents or relatives that have the time to spend with little ones. The Phoenix zoo petting zoo is safe and fun for young and old. And lastly to live vicariously through the little ones eyes is invigorating and satiating. Try it, you’ll like it but you might need a nap when you’re done.

posted by pierce on Jan 4

My girlfriend, Lana was off from work for several days. My dogtraining business was slow, so we decided to play. We started with a 1 mile hike that ascended the coattails of Squaw peak{Piestawa} with our dog, Romeo and the cardio work produced the much needed endorphinized bliss for all of us. Then back home to shower and shave and lay down for a rare and blessed nap. We eventually awakened relaxed, emotionally satiated, physically energized, and decided on a festive pre-holliday dinner at our favorite restaurant in Phoenix. This restaurant’s motto is “comida chingona” which when translated means “good fucking food” and the name of the restaurant is “Barrio Cafe”. It erupted onto the Phoenix scene a decade ago and it continues to grow it’s clientelle while other legendary Phoenix institutions close their doors. The location is one and a half blocks south of Thomas on 16th street on the westside of the street and they don’t take reservations so we opted for the first serving and arrived at 5:15 p.m. Once we were seated we ordered drinks, ice water with a lemon wedge for moi, the designated driver and the house Chardonnay for my impetuous beautiful partner. We ordered the salad with Avocado and Mango slices topped with Bermuda onions with Sesame oil drippings and split it. Sometimes when we are really hungry we have the Guacamole made at your table from scratch which is also fabulous but the homemade chips are carby so we passed on that. Our next course which we once again split is Lana’s favorite, the Lobster Quesadilla and it’s 4 little Lobster soft shelled tacos drenched in a heavenly creme sauce that shouts “Cordon Bleu”. And lastly, we split the “filet de titia” and it knocked my socks off. It is a filet filled with crab and another wonderful creme sauce. We were filled to the brim, satiated beyond belief as we paid the check and proceeded to waddle out the door with cheshire cat grins on our faces. The two women, Sylvanno and Wendy who started this gastronomic delight are friends I’ve trained dogs for so if you see them say “hi” for me. If you are concerned for your safety because of the name or location please consider that you are only eight blocks from Phoenix Country Club. If you’ve never eaten there, try it, the menu is extensive, the flavors are diverse and unique and the service impeccable. The ambiance is not the Ritz but then again the bill is reasonable or even downright inexpensive for the plethora of taste sensations. Trust me your palate will thank you for the adventure.
P.S The pork slow-cooked for 19 hours is fab, the fish tacos to die for, pretty much everything I’ve ever consumed there over the last decade has been “teriffico”.

posted by pierce on Dec 9

Last friday I met a past client/friend with his beautiful alpha male Norwegian Elkhound, Cody for a tuneup. This gentleman is ten years my senior but he has a powerful stride and a will to reach the pinnacle of everything he attempts. His sense of humor is dry like our climate and conversations with him are enlightening to say the least. He’d called with a problem that when he hikes with his dog, his dog gets aggressive when meeting other dogs on the trail. So we met and I told him and showed him what to do to seize control and eliminate this bad pattern and ergo replace it with a more positve reponse.
We chose the 32nd street and Lincoln hike which is and offshoot of Squaw peak where dogs are allowed. It’s a wonderful cardio burn for about 1 mile from the parking lot to the rim. I brought my dog, Romeo because he is friends with Cody and as a result wehad a nice four-pack. Myself, Romeo, Cody, and my friend, who I’ll call Dr. Supermon because he can crank up the hill without any whining and some sharp repartee. It was 8 a.m., the sun was sparkling, the air was crisp, and the ground was shaley but we got in our stride early. There were very few people but the ones we met smiled with an endorphinized bliss created by this cardio climb. We ascended steadily while in my head I heard Led Zeppellins’ “Stairway to heaven”. At every dog encounter on the way up I took Cody’s leash and he took Romeo’s and we created new positive trends for Dr. Supermon and his dog to practice on the way down and on other hikes. When we got to the rim I watered the dogs and gazed in amazement at the fifth largest city in the U.S.A. lying at our feet. On the way down we laughed and joked and I believe felt blessed to be alive and enjoying another thing the government has not figured how to tax us for. It took about one hour round trip and when we climbed into my vehicle for the short jaunt to his house nearby, he invited me in, gave me a couple cigars and we bid each other adieu. Romeo and I drove home with blissful endorphinized grins on our faces and I got on the recumbent stationary bike and burned more carbs off for another 44 minutes. As I got off the bike I thanked God for another wonderful start to the day during these uncertain economic times. And if you want to try a nice local cardio hike, like they used to tell Mikey”Try it you might like it.”

posted by pierce on Nov 23

First and foremost I would love to thank God and the universe for providing me with the loveliest, kindest, most generous, supportive, and most positive woman and friend I could ever have dreamed of attaining. She is also the sexiest! I’d like to thank God and the universe for placing a rescue dog, Romeo in our hands one and a half years ago that has turned out to be a loving, obedient, and major protective force in our world. I would love to thank my friends that helped me along the way to becoming a better man who could appreciate what he has. I would like to thank the inept American leadership for shining a light on what’s important; our immediate loved ones. I would love to thank Mother Nature for providing us Phoenicians with the most beautiful weather in the world. I would like to thank all of you that have responded positvely to my websites; Arizona bad dogs, and Arizona custom hikes via comments, phonecalls, or in person with your words of encouragement. They are all much appreciated! Thanks to the paring down of our material world we can finally focus on the gold in our laps which shines brightly in the eyes of our loved ones as we share our meals. In an era when less is less is more I would say our plates are full.
Love and Thanks,
Pierce H. Russell Jr.

posted by pierce on Oct 27

We left on Monday since the time share ran Monday to Monday or Saturday to Saturday. After the usual rigamarole of chutes and ladders played by Homeland security when venturing out of the country into international waters we touched down in San Jose Del Cabo 10 miles up the peninsula from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.We shambled through the Mexican version of customs to locate and acquire our bags to run the gauntlet of cabdrivers, guides, and assorted local hustlers finally to burst out of the terminal and locate the shuttle to our rental car company. The sun was bright like our desert sun but the breezes were steady and constant. After a short jaunt we arrived and Lana and her mom, our annointed guest entered the building to fill out the paperwork and dicker with the clerks while I was left to guard the baggage. I fired up a short stogie while I lounged in the shade trying to look casual but constantly eyeing everything and everybody around our luggage because stuff can vanish in the blink of an eye in Mexico. My fierce scrutiny kept the rabble at bay and Lana’s dickering kept the counter help from bumping our daily rate and we were soon loaded up in our economy Ford automobile and headed south to the Sheraton Hacienda Del Mar where we intended to be ensconced for a week of rest and recreation. Once again upon arrival Lana dickered, I patrolled and soon we were situated in our presidential suite on the 3rd floor overlooking the Sea of Cortez. After unpacking we headed to the large Mexican grocery where we loaded up on provisions for the week. After stocking the refrigerator and pantry with essentals and sundries we headed to one of the restaurants on the grounds and had a cocktail and an early dinner. The prices were astronomical as always, the service was slow but the chips and guacamole once they arrived tasted fabulous because the Sea of Cortez gleamed and glistened like a liquid turquoise entity on our immediate horizon. After a couple of fifteen dollar grey burgers we marched Marie down towards the beach and wended our way from pool to pool, jacuzzi to jacuzzi to give her an idea where everything was and help her get a lay of the land. Since she was in a foreign land her fears were overwhelming and she clung to us like a tenacious barnacle on storm battered rocks. Eventually we made it back to our balcony, mixed ourselves cocktails to relax and just enjoyed the view. I’d like to say the whales swam by in formation sending spumes of water high in the air to welcome us but I’m not ready for embellishments just yet. Suffice it to say we were tired from the travel and we retired shortly.  The next day we awakened to the sound of “hola” which meant the maids were there to spruce up our suite which was by now in total disarray so we got our swmsuits on and headed to the beach for some seashell hunting. I’d have to say it was hoter than usual because we were here last year just before xmas but the breezes were steady like they were programmed and the waves sparkled and thundered less and less as the tide receded. We shuffled down the pristine white beach awkwardly because of the steep incline of the shore while the waves rolled in to kiss our feet. The shells were sparse, the humidity was on high and soon we encountered rock and coral formations where the best seashells hid but because Marie was tired and unsteady we turned around rather than clamor over and around them in our water shoes like we did the previous year. We stopped by the office to acquire an activities sheet for the week so we could apprise Marie of her options on the way back to our palatial suite. Upon arriving back at our base of operations we dined on sandwiches and Marie and her daughter, Lana scooted to one of the pools while I changed into bike shorts and went to the lavish gym for cardio and weight work. The equipment was first class and after an hour I went back to the room for a siesta donning my Mexican personae. After an hour’s glorious nap they returned, we showered, shaved, and prepared our evening meal, had a couple cocktails and set out for our evening stroll. The sun was setting and I noticed movement in the plants and shrubbery which I eventually discerned were large iguanas and iguana like lizards anywhere from two and a half to three feet in length, 4 to 6 inches in diameter, and in an array of colors from camoflage green to black and white. These primordial creatures ran and hid when we appeared thank the lord because they looked large enough to swallow small puppies of which there were none. The sunset was glorious and our guest had some activities picked out for the next day; Mexican bingo where you can win some free drinks and a spanish class which would prepare her to assume the role of our own personal interpreter and linguist. After a couple more drinks on our balcony we soon retired for another peaceful night’s sleep. The next day we were awakened by “hola” again as our maid du jour arrived to whisk our suite into spic and span shape to ensure their tips for the week. We dressed and headed to “the office”, a restaurant and bar on the beach overlooking the harbor where these massive cruise ships idled after slipping in during the wee hours of the night. After a wonderfull breakfast Lana escorted us to this glass- bottomed skiff that she had secured so we could motor out to land’s end where the Pacific ocean met up with the Sea of Cortez. We marvelled at the many colored fish and clapped ecstatically at the fat seals on the rocks. The waverunners were skittering across the bay, the parasilors were hovering behind their appointed boats being drug on the end of long extend-a-leashes and we eventually made it back to the beach, picked up our rental car and headed back to our suite for a dual siesta while Marie went to her spanish class. After a short nap, a little afternoon delight, and brief respite from our dark shadow Lana headed to the pool for a swim and I  sauntered with a swagger to the workout  facilities so I could consume more cocktails and more carb-laden meals without becoming “el gordito”. So to reiterate breakfast or brunch at “the Office” in town is a must and worth every shekel as well as a ride on the glass bottomed boats but remember to tip everyone after everything unless you want flyers with your cheap-ass picture passed out to the muggers. The next day was more of the same at the resort with a scheduled meal at “Romeo&Juliet’s” set for that evening. Where Marie and Lana had pizza while I opted for pasta and it was good not great but eating in a beautiful open courtyard open to the night sky with a plethora of stars and that luscious steady breeze was great. Afterwards we walked the beach at the resort, skirting the waves rushing in, we soon relaxed and became hypmotized and shortly thereafter a huge wave slammed into us, driving Lana to her knees, Marie to her belly, and made me flex my legs and wriggle my toes deeper into the sand until it withdrew. Lana was fifteen feet from me and seemed ready to rise as this monster receded when I noticed Marie being drug back down the beach with the “Undertoad” firmly in grasp of her ankles and as she swept by me I tossed this expensive wonderful cigar away, swivelled, lunged, planted my left foot and scruffed Marie as she was being sucked out to sea right past me. I prayed the material of her blouse was quality because I had a firm grip with my left hand and if it didn’t tear all would be fine. I was still bemoaning the sacrifice of that fine cigar as I tried to lift her as the wave slithered back to sea. I knew time was of the essence because chances are another wave was due shortly. So I started slogging up the beach dragging Marie, who was still dead weight, imploring her in an adrenaline laced voice to “Get Up” before the next wave enveloped us. Unfortunately she could do nothing but gawp like a beached whale as the next wave enveloped us so I braced myself once again. Eventually Lana scrambled over to help along with this fine Mexican salesman who dropped his wares and rushed to our aid and between the three of us were able to get Marie back on her feet. We were soaked, adrenaline fueled, and headed back to our suite walking on higher ground staggering like shipwreck survivors but exhilarated to be alive. The nightcaps tasted like nectars of the gods as we retired to our “el banos” to try and flush the fifty extra lbs.of sand that had taken up residence in every crack and crevice of our bodies. That night we slept like exhausted adventurers that had bit off more than they could chew but survived thanks to the grace of god and their personal tenacity. The next day when I worked out on the weight machines and rode the bike after breakfast my left hand and wrist throbbed from the previous night’s exertion bu I suppose “no pain, no gain” was applicable and marie graciously dug in her purse to produce 2 aleve that helped compensate for the athritic pain. I swam at the pool, relaxed, and took it easy because we had plans for an A.T.V. sunset ride on the Pacific coast 10 miles north of Cabo san Lucas. We were picked up at the main sales office at 5:30 for our dirt road ride to the A.T.V. launching area. Lana and Marie rode double and I rode single. The machines were less than adequate because you had to shift witout any clutch but the weater and beach were gorgeous but we had to curtail our activities early because Marie was not a happy camper. Since we arrived back early we hitched a ride with a local rancher, Orlando and his young helper, Eduardo and we rode in the back of his duellie truck to Cabo San Lucas where we met the Mercedes bus that took us back to the resort. Definitely a thumbs down on the clutchless A.T.V.’s. I much prefer the automatic ones I’ve used in Colorado and if I did it again I would find those or skip it all together. We awakened Saturday, worked out, and idylled by the pool because that night we had reservations at Edith’s at 7:30 p.m. which is the ” to die for restaurant” in Cabo San Lucas. When you arrive the valet whisks your car away and you enter the foyer you are treated like royalty as your escorted to your table in this intimate outdoor courtyard open to the stars and the service and food is impeccable. Expensive but well worth it. Lana and I had the surf and turf [split it] and we also shared the Caesar salad that is prepared at tableside. This Caesar salad is the best I’ve ever had anywhere. Lana claims they use anchvies netted that morning and they swim around in the dressing and our released back into the bay the following morning. Her logic is that this makes for happy anchovies thus happy dressing ergo the happiest Caesar salad in the world. The meat is flown in from the U.S.A. because butchers in Mexico cut meat differently. The entire evening was enchanting or maybe our brush with mortality two nights hence made things taste and smell better than ever. The stars seemed closer and they twinkled brighter like God was winking at us. The next day we packed, organized, relaxed and got ready for our flight back Monday but this is one trip to Cabo San Lucas I’ll never forget. So to sum up I recommend “the Office” for breakfast or brunch and “Edith’s” for dinner but make reservations as early as you can. I know some people that e-mail or fax reservations at least a month in advance especially if they are going in the season, November thru February. And lastly be wary of walks on the beach when the tide is in or coming in because the shore is steep, the waves unpredictable and the Undertoad is a relentless bastard when he has your ankles in his meaty paws.

posted by pierce on Sep 30

When I grew up F.M radio stations, mostly college backed played whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. You could hear hardrock, folk, jazz, jazz rock fusion, R&B, and country songs back to back in an hour. Not so much anymore. The DJ’s played what they liked not what they got paid to play. You listened because you liked the diversity. When you went to the store the best products were eye level on the shelves because people liked them not because of pay for product placement. You went for sunday drives with your family because gas was 25 cents a gallon. At baseball games the 7th inning stretch was just that not time for marketing companies to fire free T-shirts into the stands while hollering inane marketing phrases through electronic mega-phones at you. Actors smoked cigarettes in films and on t.v. shows and there were Marlboro men and Winston men in print ads in magazines and on billboards. Today those macho guys are dead from lung cancer or you see them dragging oxygen tanks on wheels behind them with tubes strapped under their bulbous noses. If someone in your neighborhood got sick, hospitalized, or died everyone made casseroles and dropped them off at said neighbor’s houses. You knew your neighbors but today you only know them if they commit a crime and you see the cops parked outside their house or thy are a clip on C.N.N headline news for ponzi schemes or serial killing. When I grew up the only cereal were Wheaties, Cheerios, or Shredded Wheat. They needed sugar to be added to the milk. Today not so much. Water was clean and fresh and readily available Now it costs a buck a bottle and it comes in plastic containers lined with cancer causing agents. All the tradesmen such as butchers, electricians, and plumbers that got the most work were the ones that worked the hardest, provided the best services for the most reasonable prices not the ones that paid I.T. businesses so they would come up first on an internet search. Real people answered their own phones and responded to customers personally to provide customer satisfaction so they’d get more mouth to mouth referrals. You didn’t need to talk to machines or customer service depts. in third world countries. Dogs got loose and neighbors took them in and returned them to you after you got home from work. If your stereo broke down you took it to a stereo repairman and waranties paid for their repair instead of throwing them in the trash and buying a new one. There was penny candy in a glass case at the corner store. There were drive-in theatres where most men learned the meaning of the word NO. For me it mostly meant maybe. There were creeks, rivers, streams trees, and open land interspersed throughout metropolitan areas. You could swim anywhere. Mothers went to the back-door and hollered when dinner was ready now they text. When your family wanted or needed a product they saved up for it and paid cash instead of slapping down a credit card. When you got home from school during the week or on saturdays and sundays your parents told you to go outside and play. You rounded up your friends and explored the nearby woods, creeks, or rivers or played pickup ballgames. You walked everywhere and loved it. If you got caught performing acts of vandalism neighbors called your parents and you got snitched out and marched back to that persons house to apologize in person and then home where you were grounded. If your family needed help yor neighbors would help you. Today not so much. Well the hard times are back and maybe we can revert to the past and regain some of our humanity and offer a helping hand to some of our more needy neighbors. Adversity can be a wonderful catalyst that helps bring out the best in us because maybe it really isn’t so much about the money but more about loving and caring about each other. And lastly the chasm between the rich and the poor is widening but we’re all in this together. I find the rich are just as bedraggled and beleaguered and cornered as the poor because they have more stuff to protect. So let’s smile and actually listen to peoples responses when we ask people ‘How you doin?’ Let’s get out and walk our neighborhoods and pickup some litter and smile at each other. this depression/recession could be the best thing that has happened to the U.S.A. if we stop bitchin,complainin, and whinin and get back to the simpler things in life. We need to rise everyday and realize that every day is a blessing and today is the day to love and smile. Adversity when approached with an open heart and a open mind opens doors.

posted by pierce on Sep 27

The sun rose like the beautiful orb it is and I watched it’s positive ascension while I read the dark news items in the daily paper and sipped my coffee.Inside I was jumping up and down like a kid after a bowl of captain crunch because my girl and I were flying to the Chicago suburbs for a semi-vacation with two immediate goals. One was to meet her family and two was to escape the oppressive summer heat for awhile. Hope for a fun-filled frolicsome six days was on the horizon while fear of family squabbles and petty judgements were gnawing at the perifery. I suppressed the latter thought and danced to light pop rock music on the stereo in anticipation of a fun adventure with the woman of my dreams. After the shuffling degrading shoeless security modern day spanking machine we endured getting to our plane we joked lovingly of the family and the visit to her hometown of Lisle Illinois. The plane took off on time and the ride was relatively uneventful. For once I was thrilled by the size of my girl’s purse because it was packed with snacks it even contained a couple of Chicago hot dogs with the works to prepare us for the ethnic food we would soon encounter. Her brother, Eddie Spaghetti picked us up after a twenty minute wait with his lovely bride of 10 years ensconced in the shotgun seat. Weather in the 80’s though moist was a delightful change from the past month and a half of 100+ we’d suffered through of late. The conversation in the car was focussed primarily on a previous day’s storm that had knocked out power in and about Lisle,Illinois where we would be staying with this lovely  couple for the next three and a half days. As we arrived at their upper middle class abode we had to refocus our energy to sidle by their enormous 120 lb named Dempsey while he growled his friendly akita welcome. Eventually after contorting our bodies while our arms were weighted down with luggage we managed to arrive at our room without getting bitten. We cleaned up and changed into our perfectly coordinated outfits and we were ready to go out for dinner. Once again we weaved and wended our way around the attack dog obstacle course without mishap feeling like we had just worked out to a 90 minute zumba video. Eddie piloted the vehicle through green idyllic suburban countryside as our stomachs growled like his dog and Spaghetti pointed out various locations of childhood debacles. He drove and drove and stopped at several restaurants that were closed due to the power outages by now our growling stomachs sounded like the Doberman gang as we finally pulled into the historic Homerun inn, the epicenter of world-famous Chicago pizza.The pizza arrived while I was attempting to make light conversation with my girl’s opinionated mother and the slightly tipsy bride of Eddie S. and my girl and her brother were outside smoking hacks. I proceeded to devour almost half this gargantuan pie with mom and tipsy whose name still escapes me. The pie was thin and crispy and shockingly delicious. I’d highly recommend it if you ever find yourself  in the proximity of a Homerun Inn. By the way I didn’t  just eat it I pounded it. The drive there was about 90 minutes but the drive home was about 10 minutes maybe we found the shortcut on the way back and our luck was turning for the better and I pondered asking to stop somewhere for a lottery ticket but I bit my tongue instead. Upon arrval at the homestead I decided to go for the nightly walk with Dempsey, my new best canine friend and Eddie, my host so off we went into the dark. Eddie joked and laughed while his dog growled at me like he was auditioning for protection work. We arived back at the home after a half-hour jaunt and I cleaned up, climbed into bed with my girl, hugged and kissed her and we dropped off to sleep like we’d just completed a 40 mile hike with with full 50 lb packs.The next morning dawned bright and beautiful with temps in the 60’s and we made our plans for the day over coffee and cigarettes, the breakfast at this quaint B and B’ After hiking 4 to 5 miles in this bucolic countryside we decided to gather everyone up and go eat lunch at another local famous eatery. It was packed, the food was great and I’ be damned if I can remember the name but if I could I’d recommend it. After arriving home we showered, shaved, relaxed and began getting ready for the night’ festivities which I was sure included the gathering of folks, the drivetime, the cocktails, the chitchat and lastly the engorging of comfort food. At this rate I was affraid I wouldn’t fit in my designer jeans by the time we got to our hotel in Chicago in two more days for some alone time. By then we could roll around in bed like overripe bratwurst which maybe is a midwestern pasttime. As the evening waned we drove home and dodged the growling behemoth of a dog, had a nightcap and retired.I dreamt of being stuck in Purgatory with a chainsmoking food critic but the dawn arrived nonetheless; spectacular bright and clear in the mid-sixties temperature wise with just a hint of humidity. After another breakfast of coffee and cigarettes and our day’s plans firmly agreed upon off we sailed into the wild blue yonder. We arrived at another wild life park that had trails winding around several small lakes and this time we were being dogged by the mother and closet alcoholic  to the rear and the growling beast of a dog at the forefront but it was another beautiful day so off we skipped. After an hour of hiking and waiting and hiking and waiting for the rear echelon to close the gap we dropped them at the car and thinking we could pick up the pace and burn some calories we stepped out with fresh vigor only to encounter swarms of mosqitoes that made the biblical tales of locusts look like Disney characters in their theme parks.When we finished are hike and battle with the skeeters off we went to lunch, grabbed a quick bite and home for a nap. That night’s dinner was to include the other brother Gary and his wife, Barb and their entire brood of children and grandchildren at a local open to the public country club. We arrived on time and proceeded to cocktail and chat as everyone straggled in over the course of one and a half hours Quite frankly they were all lovely and several of the children and grandchildren especially the females had that beautiful disarming Czyz smile that stole my heart and still does everytime Lana lets it rip. The meal was comfort food and sufficient and when I offered to pay a portion of the bill Gary graciously declined. The evening was wonderful, the family was nice and welcoming and damned if I didn’t have a great time. We went home satiated hurdled the old grouchy growling Dempsey, had a nightcap on the patio and retired. The third day was beautiful once again sunny mid-60s so after are standard coffee and cigarette breakfast we went for our daily constitutional. As we pulled into the parking lot we noticed this portly couple with binoculars glassing the perifery of this pond with trails around it and after inquiring what they were doing they informed us they’d spotted a wounded goose, probably an illegal{Canadian] and were trying to locate it for a wildlife officer who they had called and was do to arrive momentarily. We said we’d keep an eye out for it and off we scooted. Well eventually we found the brokened winged fowl on the other shore and signalled to the couple who were now engaged in conversation with the rescue officer and she hopped in her wildlife van and motored to our side of this pond. She lumbered to our position with a good sized fishing net in her meaty paws about the size of a large tennis racket ringed in some metal alloy. We pointed out the wounded bird and she proceeded to bonk the the living shit out of this bird several times before she drove the poor thing into the water in fear for his life.As the bird swm for his life in his newly concussed state we continued our idyllic walk. Upon arriving back at the car I was informed we would be eating lunch at Bishop’s, a neighborhood bar that allegedly had world famous chilli and once again I was starved so off we went.When we pulled into the parking lot I noticed this ramshackle building that  looked like it was built a the turn of the century and had not been renovated since. As we entered we noticed the handful of regulars at the bar with their boilermakers and bowls of chilli and it felt like home to me. As I scoured the menu I knew that this was the place for me because I could get a bowl of of chilli and a polish sausage for 5.95 and since their were only 4 of us I could finally afford to pickup this check . The food was good, the herbs and spices undecipherable and when the check arrived I dove on it. Four hours later back at the house I was awakened from my nap by a rumbling in my innards that felt and sounded like Mt. Vesuvious had come to life and everyone in nearby villages should be evacuated. I made it  to the bathroom and every particle of comfort food I’d ingested over the past several days was flushed from my system. After some contemplation I thought that the main ingredient in the famous chilli was gunpowder and I figured what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and in this case leaner. That evenings agenda was to include traditional Polish fare and I was ready. We showered, shaved and got into our outfits for the evenings meal at the “Bohemian Crystal ‘ met on patio had a cocktail and off we went. I’d never been to a traditional Polish eatery so I was stoked. I was advised to go for the dumplings to fully experience the Polish essence so I ordered the quarter duck and pork roast with bread dumplings. When my meal arrived the duck was crispy and the pork roast luscious moist slices but it was accompanied by 3 slices of mutated albino wonderbread baked in the Chernobyl ovens. I was pondering what to do with these abberrational food items that looked like sponges that could’ve been used in the Gulf oil spill to save the eco system when these huge gravy boats arrived at the table and so I followed everyone’s lead and dumped about a quart of gravyon these mutant food items and damned if they didn’t soak up every drop. The duck was great, the pork roast was great but I’m still wondering if my body will ever be able to pass these super sponges and I went to bed feeling like Bob’s Big Boy all bloated like a beached whale. I tossed and turned dreaming of plump moist prunes to alleviate my constricted innards.I awakened on our last morning with this dysfunctional yet charmingly hospitable couple with a bright smile on my face because we were headed to downtown Chicago where we would spend some alone. Yahoo! The 120 lb. beast named Dempsey had lost some volume and timbre to his warnings when I passed by him, had our standard breakfast of cigs and cofee, packed our bags, loaded the car and headed south. Eddie S. was driving, his wife,Linda was riding shotgun and I was in the back surounded by my girl and her mom. I felt like a cheap dime novel surrounded by the classics. The wheelman performed exquisitely smoking one hack after another while his lovely bride changed stations on the radio with rapid fire moves raising and lowering the volume in an effort to get his goat. When we transitioned from one highway to another we lost a lane and traffic slowed. Eddie S. bitched and moaned, the wife smirked and I bit my tongue and prayed for patience. Upon arrival at our hotel I bolted from the car as did my girl into the lobby of this lavish French hotel. The doorman followed with the bags as we zeroed in on Le checkin counture thinking we had finally lost her genetic entourage. We checked in and slowly turned to find her mom and as we entered the elevator once again we  found ourselves surrounded by the posse from hell. Le porter ushered us into our room as I prayed for salvation. With much aplomb my girl thanked everyone for their efforts but that we needed some time alone. They filed out with crestfallen faces and God smiled and we hugged with joy and abandon.I felt like Nelson Mandela upon his  release from internment and internally I shouted ” Oh, my God free at last. Thank you lord!” After unpacking, bonding with the remote which is a man’s curse and responsibility we took a catnap, held each other tight, and reset our emotional clocks. We awoke hungry and decided to saunter to the Blues cafe for a meal. You know the one in the Blues Brothers movies cuz I’ve never been there  and for me it was quintessentiall the heart and soul of Chicago and I could tourist up as well as anyone. We both opted for salads hoping to flush those damn mutant dumplings that were embedded in our lower intestines like v.c. in their tunnels in the Mekong delta. We finished are light repast and brushed by the 300 lb. black man guarding th stairway leading to the world famous blues hall upstairs He told us the concert in progress was sold out but once I reassured him I just wanted a peek and we did not intend to stay. He smiled and told us to go ahead. Upon entering we were assaulted by gangsta rap by a group called Tech Nine and we startled some youths with bugeyes, gazed at this incredible music venue and decided to retreat when the hairs on the backs of our necks stood up from the angry shouts and hard beats. We skipped down the stairs, thanked the doorman for his graciousness and strolled back to the hotel inhaling the sights, smells, and sounds of the  third largest city in the U.S.A  newly invigorated. Laid our heads on the pillows after performing our nightly ablutions and slept like the innocents that had survived three and a half days in war torn “meet the family enemy territory”. We slept in and rather than order  roomservice coffee and and breakfast at astronomical prices I scouted out a place to eat at around th corner while I picked up some coffees and whisked them back to the love of my life. We then walked 10 blocks to the shores of Lake Michigan where the people watching was a vibrant, rich, ripe experience. After an afternoon’s delight, a restfull nap we showered, shaved and gussied up to meet a good friend’s daughters in the hotel lounge. They arrived and after hugs and introductions and a libation I paid the bill and they joined us for dinner at this nearby local eatery where mysweet had made reservations. We chatted, laughed and renewed our friendships. The dinner was comfort italian, the service  inpeccable and after one of the girl’s boyfriends showed up we decided to saunter back toward the hotel’s proximity for a nightcap. We strolled  to this little club we’d discovered the night before and one doorway shy of this bar we got Chicagoed by this fast-talkin,slick-haired carney who invited us to come in and partake of the live R&B and he led us to this table right in front of the stage. The music was good, the band was working it and I was half in the bag so I said “what the hell”, we sat ordered a cocktail and enjoyed this local jazz soul group while we waited for one more couple to join us. The person we were awaiting was one of Lana’s nephews  and he was friends with my friend’s daughters boyfriend and after a divorce neither had seen hide nor hair of each other so we relaxed, enjoyed the music and eventually he showed up with his girlfriend. Once again hugs and introductions ensued they sat ordered drinks and the band played on. Lana and I decided to step outside for a smoke and the high heels she wore started to challenge her authority so she switched to flats she had stashed in her purse but the evening was taking a toll on both of us so I told her to hang on and I went to the bar, inquired about the bill and dropped  100 to cover half accrued thus far. I went back to the table made our apologies, said our goodbyes and sprinted to Lana at the door and grabbed a cab back to the hotel. As I lay my head down on the pillow I realized we’d been gouged at the club for everything but we didn’t get mugged physically just financially and tomorrow we would be winging our way bach home to Phoenix,Az  the sixth largest city in the U.S.A. where people are friendly and warm not because they want or need your money but because that’s the way they are. As I closed my eyes I heard Dorothy’s retort to Toto “ There’s no place like home”.

posted by pierce on Sep 3

My partner Lana is from the midwest and thus uses some terminology,cliches,sayings that are different than some I’ve grown up with coming from the east coast.One of my favorites is when she calmly states that this person is a pity. Please allow me to expound on this.Positive thoughts beget positive results.Negative thoughts beget negative results.I lean towards the former and so does my partner.Some people we meet and are forced to interact with are “Pities”.These are people that measure their lives by telling people about the bad stuff that happened to them or complaining and whining about their horrible lives and they basically ‘piss in your ears’ thus filling you with this negative energy.We need to no longer tolerate “pities” because they cause disharmony,unrest,stress,and depression.”Pities” are cancerous and must be shunned.I firmly believe that when a door shuts or an opportunity ends if we keep an open mind and an open heart more opportunities will appear.Yet if we are busy crying and whining about our lot in life we will miss seeing the new doors and windows opening up for us.This economic “pity” we are now embroiled in abounds with opportunities to think outside the box.I’ve already gone back to college to take courses that will further my growth and development.My partner,Lana is doing the same.Yes, people have bad days and friends let them vent infrequently but for the most part friends should be supportive and trade positive thoughts.Stop feeding the “pities”.Stop letting them bring you down to their level of unhappiness.Every day is a blessing! Get out and exercise,smile,laugh,love,do not dwell on the negatives and you might find danger lurks but happiness abounds.

                                                                                      Love,

                                                                                     Pierce

P.S. “Lose the PITIES”

posted by admin on Aug 7

When I was a child of kindergarten age through maybe 4th grade every summer after school shut down and summer vacation started, my parents sent me to the barber for a buzzcut. The barber shaved me down to maybe 1/4 to 1/2 inch in length and used some stickem on the front. It felt great!! I was a kid and who gave a damn what you looked like. This buzzcut represented Freedom and Liberation because back then in upper state New York me and my pals would get together and roam the hills and dales through forests damn near everyday, just exploring our world.

Well, I just revisited that feeling by getting a buzzcut again and I intend to revisit those feelings and introduce you to the freedom of exploration through my newest company Arizona Custom Hikes. My partner and I are filming our adventures, hikes, and we will soon be airing our Spanky and our Gang virtual hikes online for all to enjoy for a nominal fee. This task is more expensive and time consuming than we thought possible so bear with us. The cinematography will not rival Kirosawa or Bertolucci. The scripts will not be nominated for anything. All we are trying to do is have fun outdoors and show people how much fun simple explorations can be. The most amazing thing is that as we explore our world we must reach deeper and deeper into ourselves to achieve these goals and thus we learn more about ourselves everyday. So stay tuned and prepare to laugh, love, and giggle with us in the beautiful outdoors.

Your Hosts,

Pierce and Lana

P.S. Go Take A Hike!!!!